Friday, January 17, 2014
If MeanKitty Could Review Books
MeanKitty author of The Whole Truth (aka Jody Wallace) has written a fresh, fun sci-fi romance, complete with misbehaving cats.
Cleopatra Giancarlo is different from your average twenty something career girl. For one thing, she knows when people lie because she can see the truth in their shadows. For another, she doesn’t use her power for good. Or evil. After repeated failures to help others, she mostly just uses it to get deals at Bloomingdale’s. She fears what the government would do if they discovered her ability, yet she longs to find out if there are people like her out there. If there’s anything more she could be.
She gets her wish when two strangers whisk her away from her old life and introduce her to the world of suprasensors. John and Samantha represent an organization called YuriCorp, one of many privately-owned firms that employ supras to increase their profit margin. Any of these firms would be thrilled to have Cleo on staff, and their methods of recruitment aren’t always friendly.
But even in the world of supras, Cleo isn’t safe. Her new boss wants her to go undercover and seek traitors in the company ranks. Her new friends know what she can do and how to work around it. And when someone starts wiping out supras, her new assignment might end up with her in a coma—or worse.
Cats are such a hilarious part of this novel, I have invited MeanKitty to share what it would look like it a cat could review books...
Meankitty's Review Tips
1) If you don't use claws, people will think you're a pus-- Haha, you thought I was going to say something felinist or sexist! A PUSHOVER. Tell lots of the truth about a book with your claw-like wit. Shredding happens.
2) Shedding happens too, for that matter. So if you want to add, let's just say, part of yourself to a review? Go for it. That's what makes your voice so fuzzy and interesting. There are no cat dander allergies on the internet.
3) If you feel like being sweet and drooling about a book, have somebody check your butt. You may have turned into a dog. Dogs don't review, they only fetch and slobber.
4) If a book has no cats in it, make sure to note that in the text of the review. We can only combat boring, cat-free books if we speak up about it!
5) Remember that when you cross-post your reviews to certain sites, there may be hinky crap in the TOS about "owning user content" or "don't cuss" or "you can't be an author and review here" or what have you. Always read the fine print!
6) If you want to create a home base on the internet for your reviews instead of just cross-posting to retailers or reviewing for someone else, it's best to use multiple pictures of cats on that home base in order to keep readers interested and coming back for more.
7) Erratic = awesome. Don’t sweat being erratic--posting 10 review on one day and then nothing for weeks because there's a sunspot you need to lounge in is perfectly understandable.
8) If a book is highly complimentary toward dogs, that drops it a letter grade automatically, or whatever measurement system you use. Just so you know. This is a rule.
9) There's enough bad advice on the internet that anything you do on your review site that creates unwanted hooplah, you can blame on somebody else. Preferably a dog lover.
10) Whatever you do, don't take yourself too seriously.
Meankitty & her typist Jody Wallace
Author, Cat Person, Amigurumist
For more feline shenanigan's, visit them at:
http://www.jodywallace.com * http://www.meankitty.com
For a chance to win a Kindle copy of The Whole Truth, leave your email addy in the comment section--and whether or not you have cats. If you do, mention a fun story about your adorable ball of fur. If you don't have a cat--whyever not???